I never would’ve thought Ted could do it, but there he goes. Living proof that it’s possible to lose weight and get fit in your forties, despite what all those scathing online articles (probably written by vindictive fit people) tell you.
I mean, it’s not like we get fit in our job. That’s the world of 2018, and it has been for a while: you sit at a desk, type away on a computer and burn about two calories throughout the day. And then Shirley from Finance brings in a carrot cake for someone’s birthday and that just complicates matters.
Of course, Ted had his inciting incident, and also a brush with oxygen therapy services based in Melbourne. THAT part probably wasn’t so fun; I wouldn’t want my introduction to fitness being a severe asthma attack that almost kills me. Maybe Ted spent a week inside a hyperbaric chamber and the oxygen unlocked that part of his brain that lets you suddenly start to eat healthy and get in at least fifteen minutes of cardio every day. Maybe I ALSO need to get myself inside a hyperbaric chamber and unlock the same fitness superpowers. Heck, whatever happened to him is pretty potent stuff. We went out for a drink last night with the office guys and we could barely get Ted to drink some lemonade. He said that the sugar promotes fat storage, but since he’d been to crossfit at 6:30 that morning, he could stand to drink a small glass. And then he made it last for an hour.
Uh, wow. I don’t know what hyperbaric medicine treatments do to your brain, but it’s got to be something good. Or maybe it was all that time he had to think, and oxygen just helped the thought process along. Either way, I gotta get me some of this. Shift that spare tire, maybe sign up for that triathlon…or just be able to climb the stairs to the office without having to pause outside the door and catch my breath. Maybe that’s fitness goal #1.