If people could just learn to understand the different types of law, that’d be great. Now I have Perdita bugging me to get the trespassers off the front lawn, all because I know some business lawyers. I’ve tried telling her that this is more of a matter for property law, since this is to do with property, but she refuses to let up. Says that this is our ‘business’, and thus it’s a matter for a business lawyer. Personally, I just don’t think she wants to go looking for actual property lawyers around Melbourne herself. She’s one of our residents who spends all day inside…so it makes you wonder why she’d be so bothered by people walking around the grounds. The grounds she does not use.

Besides, I know enough about law to tell her that you don’t summon a legion of lawyers the moment you see someone cutting through your property. The first step- and I know this might scare some people- is to TALK to people. Maybe you can get away with putting up signs, but at the moment it’s not like they’re smashing windows. There’s a hole in our hedge, people are using it when they shouldn’t be, but they’re not exactly contravening the Geneva Convention. You put up signs, ask them to stop, then MAYBE tell the police. Not the emergency line, just go into the station and ask for their advice.

And if you have to get into property law somewhere down the line, then so be it. That’s the extreme end of things. Seriously, you don’t even need to have brushed against legal-related things to know this stuff, it’s just common sense. I think Perdita has it in her head that we need to install laser-turrets, motion sensors and call in the attack helicopters whenever someone invades our space. And the attack helicopters will be carrying a battalion of Melbourne’s best property solicitors to descend and unleash their legal fury.

Or we could make a polite sign.