It was 7 am when the exterior painters arrived to help me with my ultimate prank. I’d called them after eventually getting myself down from the rope trap set by the interior painter I’d hired. Unfortunately, the prank painter never returned to finish the job, leaving me with a half-painted wall in my living room. When I called up the exterior painting company, the receptionist told me that they would be delighted to help prank the painter back, as he’d pranked them many times in the past. Frank the Pranking Painter, his name was. I guess I should have seen the whole thing coming when I looked up his business, but whatever. Anyway, bringing down Frank was an honour that every exterior painter in the Melbourne CBD would have given anything for, so they gladly accepted the job.

Once the exterior painters arrived at my home, I called the business number for Frank the Pranking Painter. When Frank picked up, I told him that he owed me a wall painting, because he hadn’t completed the job. “Sorry, mate,” said Frank, “but you already got the full service. If you read the terms and conditions on my website, you would have known that I only complete a job to the halfway point, then prank my clients. I’m quite upfront about that, which is why I have so many five-star reviews.”

“Ah,” I said, “but any residential painter worthy of their brush would hate to leave a job incomplete. So, are you worthy of your brush? And if so, will you complete this job?”

Frank sounded disgusted by the accusation. “Of course I am worthy of my brush! How dare you? But no, I will not be completing the job. Good day, sir!”

Before he could hang up, I whispered into the phone. “Well, I suppose I will have to get these exterior painters to finish the painting in my living room. That is okay, isn’t it?”

“What!” Frank yelled. “You can’t get exterior painters to finish an interior wall! That’s against the painting code! I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

And now we are waiting for him to arrive. This is going to be great.