I just asked my mum what she wants for her birthday in February, and she told me she wants a bait board. What, in heaven’s name, is that? I thought for a second I’d misheard and that she was actually requesting a skateboard (seems reasonable). Nope – it’s a bait board that she wants, and a custom one at that. So I’ll darned well get her the best custom bait board ever.

Turns out it’s a boat accessory, which adds up because she did recently buy herself a boat as a retirement present. The thing is, the woman has never expressed any interest whatsoever in fishing, which is precisely where this board comes into the equation. Then again, she’s never expressed that she’s not interested. I guess it’s not a bad idea, seeing as she’s got the boat and all, and lives on the coast, and only eats meat that she’s sourced herself.

Mum’s always been very much of the mindset that it’s best to create things from scratch, where possible. That’s why, when she was in the process of acquiring her boat, she searched around for a specialist in marine welding in Melbourne to build it just the way she had in mind. So, of course she needs this board to be designed to insert cleanly into the fishing rod holders that she (evidently foreseeing her future interest in fishing) had incorporated into the design.

What I’m wondering now is, does she even own a fishing rod? There are a few rod holders on board there, and they won’t all be taken up by the bait board; besides, a board of bait is pretty useless without a rod. I reckon I’ll tip off dad to get her the rod. Even though they’ve been divorced for years now, he still likes to get her great presents. Thing is, I don’t think he knows about the boat yet. He’ll probably be a bit jealous of the specially made bow rails, but he’ll get over it.