Does everyone know that one person who won’t settle for anything less than custom everything? Is that a thing? Anyway, my cousin Tiffany is 100% that. She herself is a tailor and only wears suits that have cut to size (and occasionally these leggings made to order in Finland from recycled plastic).

I’m thinking about this because she’s just inherited a house from the estate of her wealthy late grandmother, and an extremely nice one at that. What’s the first thing on her to-do list? Answer: rip out the kitchen and bathroom because they’re not quite to her liking. I’d find it understandable if it weren’t for the fact that the kitchen was virtually new, with beautiful appliances like a gas stove and stone-topped island – just not ones made by her favoured manufacturer.

I wonder if this is a common cause of kitchen replacement. Melbourne homeowners are smarter than that right? Surely not – Tiffany must be one of a minority of extreme perfectionists. Don’t even get me started on what she’s got planned for the bathroom… well, obviously, she wants to replace the already designer shower with dual rainfall showerheads, and have a one-of-a-kind bath made by a sculptor in Japan.

I must say, it does sound really nice, now that I’m thinking it through. I’ll pay that Tiffany, for all her excessive need for things to be just so, does have good taste. The designer bathroom renovation she has in mind, although unnecessary, is tailored to reflect her unique personal taste. There’s something to be said for that, I suppose.

Maybe I’m just jealous of her having inherited this awesome house when she evidently has plenty of resources to toss around already. I should just be happy that she’s not spending to equivalent value on a kitchen and bathroom makeover that’s lacking in taste. Attention to detail is nothing to be sniffed at, and Tiffany seems to have a pretty refined sense of scale and layout.