There’s nothing like a day out on the water: true or false? This has been a growing point of contention between my mate Johann and I. Johann reckons it’s the best thing since sliced bread, and nothing will stand between him and his boat come the weekend. I, for my part, am less keen on the whole charade. In summer it’s a brutal self-sacrifice to the sun god, and in winter it’s far too close to a watery grave for my liking.

Anyway, we’ve been going round and round in circles with this difference of opinion. Johann misguidedly believes I’ll change my mind if I just try one more time, whereas I’m convinced that that’s not the case. Seriously, I’m much happier staying on dry land. But he just won’t listen, and now he’s trying to convince me to buy a boat with him. It’s ridiculous.

Now, every time I talk to him, he’s asking me for my thoughts on stainless steel marine fabrication. As if I have any! I’ve told him time and time again that I know nothing about it and am not motivated to change that, because I don’t want to buy a boat. Yet he still expects me to have an opinion on where to buy snapper racks. Melbourne CBD being my usual stomping ground, I don’t have the slightest idea.

It’s not even about the disagreement itself. It’s about the fact the matter is purely subjective, and I don’t feel that my side of it is being respected. I love Johann, but he’s just not hearing me, and I feel like he’s not even listening to what I have to say. I don’t know how I can make myself any clearer.

I suppose it’s true that I could throw the guy a bone and listen to what he has to say a bit more closely. Maybe he just wants to bounce it off someone who’s at least tried boating – which, for better or worse, I have done.