Things are going great with my girlfriend, Georgina Glass. Unfortunately she’s been really busy with…you know, work and stuff, so it’s been difficult to arrange a meeting with the family. And my sister is STILL telling everyone that I made her up. It’s really not my fault that my foreign girlfriend I met online has such an awesome and interesting life that it ends up sounding slightly unbelievable. She’s not just doing cosmetic treatments, you know; she’s also doing her PhD in the electronics and energy industry. It’s true! She’s doing an online course from the University of Baghdad, which is one of the leading places of research when it comes to industrial LED lighting and commercial solar energy applications. Now WHAT about that is hard to believe?

Solar power and LED lighting are cutting-edge industries, from what Georgia tells me. She’s just completed a module in commercial energy storage solutions, so my girlfriend could very well be one of the pioneers in solving our current energy crisis. She’s basically one of those impossibly attractive scientists that you see in spy movies; the ones who have six PhDs even though they look like they haven’t even hit thirty. And I know I’m just a lowly university student, studying arts and not entirely sure what he wants to do with his life, and I might not have the good looks of a model, and admittedly I’m not that funny, and I don’t really understand why jeans and running shoes isn’t an okay combo, but seriously…I’m telling the truth. My foreign girlfriend totally is going to improve Melbourne’s industrial energy storage, abolish fossil fuels, give people state-of-the-art cosmetic treatments and look great while doing it. I still don’t see why people are having a hard time believing any of this, Martha. Just wait until I invite her to dinner. Then you’ll see. You’ll ALL see…